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Brother Ramon SSF, RIP
Brother
Ramon SSF died on 5 June 2000. He was aged sixty-four years and in
the nineteenth year of his profession in vows. May he rest in peace
and rise in glory.
A
personal reflection given at his requiem mass in Worcester
Cathedral, by Dr Ieuan Lloyd, Companion of SSF
Ramon must
look on us today with a wry smile. We are gathered here in a
cathedral to remember him when he himself lived in a wooden hut, ten
feet by six. In the day of Pentium computers, digital cameras,
scanners and the like, Ramon achieved what he did by pen and steam
typewriter. It shows us that what is of lasting worth can be
achieved with the simplest of implements and in simple surroundings,
if you have energy, discipline and above all compassion.
I first met
Ramon (Raymond Lloyd) when he came to a mission hall in Morriston,
in the 1950s. He bubbled over with enthusiasm for his faith. At the
time he was an active banner carrier and even had a verse of
scripture sewn on his swimming trunks. Though that enthusiasm took a
different form later, it remained with him all his life.
He was at the
time attending a commercial school where he learned shorthand,
something he told me was invaluable in keeping the confidences of so
many that visited him. His parents were not well off but struggled
to keep him in school; something for which he was forever
grateful.
His decision
to be a conscientious objector at eighteen showed his resolve. We
may think of him as tolerant and open, which he was, but he had
baselines from which you would not budge him, and his refusal to
take up arms was one such – even the recruiting sergeant was no
match for him. On another occasion when he worked in Morriston
Hospital, the bed sheets of one old and sick man needed changing a
second time. A formidable sister told him that sheets should not be
changed twice in a day. Ramon told her that the rule was inhuman –
there were plenty of sheets in the cupboard and he was going to
change them even if she were to sack him. His fellow nurses were
astonished at his boldness, but he gained their respect. It was at
this hospital that he witnessed at first hand the pain and suffering
about which he was able to write with feeling, for among the wards
he worked in was a children’s cancer ward.
His
energy is legendary. While he worked at the hospital, he also looked
after a Baptist chapel in Pembrokeshire. On Monday morning before
breakfast, he would cycle the fifty miles to Morriston – and that
included the dreaded Nant y Caws hill near Carmarthen – and then
return again on the weekend.
He had his
faults, though I would have gladly exchanged mine for his. His
judgement faltered when it came to a bargain. He would buy batteries
that lasted only minutes, because they were cheap. When he was the
Guardian at Glasshampton he used to buy provisions at Bookers. He
would be delighted to find some things were five for the price of
four. But it had nothing to do with his owning anything. The Bishop
of Glasgow said to him with admiration when Ramon was leaving after
being attached to the cathedral for four years, ‘Ramon, you came
with a rucksack and you are leaving only with a rucksack’. Ramon
resisted modern technology with one exception – a microwave given to
him by his sister. Apart from that recent acquisition, like any true
Franciscan he had pared his possessions down to a minimum.
He was always
approachable. He could speak to anyone and anyone could speak to
him. We all could relate stories illustrating this. And however
fleeting a meeting with him was, it would always be memorable. There
was the truck driver who drove all the way back up the motorway
because Ramon had left something in his cab, to return it to the
cathedral here, where he had dropped Ramon off earlier. There was
the lady who gave him a lift because someone dressed like him a year
before had so helped her husband who was depressed; only to find out
that that other person was he, Ramon.
He had an
agile mind and possessed a wealth of knowledge. He loved learning
and usually was reading – at any one time – six books on a variety
of subjects. His discovery that he could write was a joy to him. He
had a phenomenal memory. Around the piano we would test his
knowledge of the Baptist Hymnal and Hymns Ancient & Modern, by
giving him a number and, invariably, he could recite all the verses.
He told me that when he was – in recent months – too ill to read he
could just name a Psalm to himself and read it off in his
mind.
He was a
charismatic preacher. But you may not know how marvellous he was
with children. He could have them eating out of his hand. His
training had been on the beaches of South Wales where every summer
for many years he would – with his loud speaker – (he did need one
sometimes) teach, talk, sing and organize games for vast numbers of
children.
He enjoyed
the world he was born into. He liked being close to the elements –
in particular, walking into the wind and climbing the cliffs on the
Gower Peninsular. There was joy and laughter in all he did. Even
towards the end of his life, his joy and laughter had not left
him.
One unique
feature of his Christian life was that he had attended, worshipped
and preached in all branches of the Christian Church. And so with
his warm and open manner, he was able to replace bigotry and
prejudice with tolerance and understanding. Only he could get
Anglo-Catholics to sing Elim choruses and a conference of Baptist
ministers to handle the rosary. And he had a growing understanding
of and sympathy for other faiths. Much to the surprise of a Hindu
doctor who attended him at his last visit to hospital, he was able
to talk to her about Hindu sages. He believed that God was wherever
there was love and compassion. That, he came to see, was a very
valuable insight.
He was
especially grateful to the brothers at Glasshampton and the nurses
who gave him so much care, attention and love, especially in the
last few weeks of his life. He died where he had chosen to be.
His family
was very important to him. His sister Wendy was ten years younger
than him. She remembers with affection how – when she was young – he
pushed her in her pram miles just to show her things of interest. He
continued to show a fatherly interest in every member of his
extended family. They in turn loved him dearly.
But what I think he will be
remembered for most is the wise counsel and guidance he gave to so
many people. Here was the other side of him, listening and not
talking, understanding the person’s situation, finding the right
thing to say at the right time, planting a thought, then suggesting
and opening up possibilities, sometimes nudging, never thrusting. He
took such great care over his letters. They were usually at least
two sides long with single spacing. He kept everyone’s letter for a
while and carbon copies of his own. He continued to write even when
he was quite ill. Not long after Christmas he replied to over a
hundred in two weeks, each tailored to the needs of the person. He
knew exactly where you were on your pilgrimage. And what he gave –
either face to face or in his correspondence – was hope, whether the
difficulties were psychological, personal or spiritual. That hope
changed the lives of so many people. That hope is something that he
had found in his faith and for which he himself was such a wonderful
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