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Click to go to another individual's story: Maximilian
SSF, Phyllis
CSF, John
SSF, Liz
CSF, Nicholas
Alan SSF
Maximilian
SSF
Maximilian was re-admitted to the novitiate in Lent 2000,
made his first profession in 2002 and his life profession in 2005.
He has spent much of his life in SSF as part of the household at
Alnmouth, but is now, with Paschal, involved in a new small house in
Walsingham, serving the shrine and pilgrims, while training for
ordination.
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From around age nine I was aware of a sense of calling to
some form of Religious Life but that it might be something for
"later on" in my life. During my early twenties, while working
as a nurse, I moved through a time of having my faith shaken
by many of the experiences of suffering I encountered. There
then followed a progressive awareness of not just the
existence of God, but that He knew me personally. I began to
read the Gospels again, and meet Jesus afresh. Attending
Church became essential during this time, and my Parish Priest
helped greatly as my discernment continued. I came to realise
that "later on" could be much sooner than I
thought! Eventually, I responded to God's call by
testing my vocation with the Society of Saint Francis. After
three years, as my noviciate reached its end, it became clear
that the time was not right for me to apply for making vows,
and I left the Order. This turned out to be a time of
significant growth, personally and spiritually. I would
describe my spiritual home as being within the Catholic
tradition of the Church of England, but during this time, God
drew me to an evangelical Anglican Church, where I served on
the PCC, and worked extensively with youth ministry. I also on
occasion attended a nearby Anglo Catholic Church, and these
two aspects of the spiritual life have merged within me, and
continue to yield fruit.
Throughout the five years following my departure from the
Order, I worked as a Counsellor and Community Support Worker,
which was very fulfilling. However, I found myself
persistently, although not stiflingly, reflecting on my life
as a Friar and my decision to leave. In response to what I
came to see as God's promptings, I approached SSF to seek
advice on what I should do. When I was invited to rejoin, I
was aware of a deep sense of rightness, and of a response to
God's timing. As I confirmed my vows before the Bishop at my
Life Profession, I was overwhelmed by a profound joy, which
continues to sustain me.
A sense of calling to the priesthood has also been with
me over the years. I have recently been recommended to begin
training for ordination, and it became clear that my primary
vocation to be a Friar needed to be in place first.
I
am immensely grateful to SSF for taking the risk of allowing
me to rejoin the Franciscan path following my departure, and
therefore myself, risk submitting to God's call. I believe it
is possible to offer all that we do to Jesus, and that He will
accept and work through it. I also believe though, that God
has a specific path He would have each of us take. Through
careful discernment from ourselves and those around us, we can
take the risk of stepping onto this path, and move forward,
with joy, and in faith that Jesus assuredly walks with
us. | Click to go to another individual's story: Phyllis
CSF, John
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Phyllis joined CSF
in 1977, was life professed in 1988, and has lived in various CSF
houses during her time in Community. Currently she is living at
Compton Durville where she is currently house bursar.
It took about 10 years to realise that God might be calling
ME to the Religious Life – from a “no way, not me,Lord” to
“Yes,Lord” after all the buts. I was working overseas when the “Yes”
began to emerge, and sensed that God was asking me to go deeper –
not better or busier but deeper. A transforming sermon on Luke 5
convinced me I could no longer live on the edge but had to launch
into the deep.
Gradually I realised I was not being called to the community
with whom I had been living nor to the community of which I had been
an associate, but to the differently challenging Community of
St.Francis. Since joining CSF in 1977 I have experienced many
highs and lows and know that the religious life is neither a soft
option nor an escape or even “tame” as some people suggest. God uses
all the experiences which are brought into Community to enhance our
life and God’s work. My call is not a one-off, I know God continues
to call me to this corporate life of prayer, work and witness and no
one is more surprised than me.
Click to go to another individual's story: Maximilian
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Alan SSF
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John SSF
John became a novice early in 2002, made his first
profession in 2005, and his life profession on 4th April
2008, the 40th anniversary of the assassination of Martin
Luther King.
 How did I end up joining a Franciscan Community? It crept up on
me and suddenly pounced. I was a Baptist for 25 years, a minister
for half of them. From that tradition I received a love of
scripture, a desire to communicate the gospel effectively and many
other blessings. The civil rights leader Martin Luther King was my
hero.
By exploring the retreat movement I discovered the power of
silence to draw us deeper into God and stumbled across the
realisation that there was a significant contemplative dimension to
my personality that needed to be taken seriously if prayer and
ministry were to be truly in and of the Holy Spirit.
The disintegration of my marriage and the accompanying
recognition of guilt and failure prompted a lot of soul searching.
Did God still want me to serve him, or to bow out gracelessly?
Confused, I confided in a spiritual counsellor who accompanied me
through the darkness and helped me to listen for my own inner voice.
In my gospel reading one day, someone said to Jesus, “I will follow
you wherever you go” (Luke 9:57). My sense that this was what God
wanted to hear from me engendered a mixture of profound gratitude
and terror. Gratitude marginally prevailed. I consented, still
fairly clueless as to where ‘wherever’ might be.
Jean Vanier’s classic book “Community and Growth” had sat
unread on my shelf for years. I opened it, and was captivated by his
descriptions of the call to community and the call of the poor. Both
of these calls reverberated around my heart. Some vague memory
induced me to read Brother Ramon’s ‘Franciscan Spirituality’. This
template of discipleship, with its simplicity and itinerancy, seemed
to fit me. It revealed a pattern that made sense of the broken
jumble that was all I could otherwise perceive my life to be; it
presented inspiring challenges; it resurrected my dreams.
Visits to friaries immersed me in liturgical catholic worship.
This required adjustments and rethinking, but proved over time to be
liberating, full of beauty and joy, not the superstitious
straitjacket of my prejudiced imagination. Weirdly I felt I belonged
in this strange territory. Step by step and under the authority and
care of the brothers I made the transition to a new home. All of me
came. Positive and negative life experiences. Grace and grit. All of
me was received.
Six years on I have lived in and visited poorer places and
people than before and hope to do more of this. I am still at home
moving from brokenness to wholeness in the company of these lovely,
infuriating Franciscan brothers and sisters, seeking to follow Jesus
wherever.
Click to go to another individual's story: Maximilian
SSF, Phyllis
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CSF, Nicholas
Alan SSF
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Liz CSF
Sr Liz made her first profession in April 2007, and is
presently Guest Sister at Compton Durville.
 My name is Sr Liz, an ordained priest and
currently a sister in First Profession with CSF at Compton Durville
in Somerset.
So why am I here?
Well the ‘seed’ of Community has been around for some
time. Over the years in times of quiet reflection I have felt
God’s promise of a deeper and more intimate relationship with him, a
constant searching and yearning. It was during the Life Profession
Service of another sister, that I (rather alarmingly) felt an
overwhelming sense of ‘belonging’ and knew that this was something
that I needed to explore further. Drawn by the freedom, joy and
spontaneity I had seen, I began to hear myself asking those unspoken
questions, knowing in my depths that I had to step out in faith and
trust (although I confess rather tentatively and not without much
apprehension!). There was something about searching for a corporate
rhythm, routine and discipline of life that was rooted in prayer,
because I firmly believe that all that I do has to come from that
solid foundation, from that centre of being in relationship with
God, a relationship that is renewed daily in prayer, word and
sacrament.
So five years on, how has it been?
Well, it has certainly been a time of great change,
transformation and revelation, of much emotional upheaval and
turmoil but also a time of great liberation as the different aspects
of my life begin to come together, like the pieces of a jigsaw. Each
piece is being carefully refined and transformed as I am brought to
a greater place of healing and wholeness in God’s love and as I
begin to really discover the person God created me to be.
Click to go to another individual's story: Maximilian
SSF, Phyllis
CSF, John
SSF, Nicholas
Alan SSF
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Br Nicholas Alan made his life profession in 2002, and is
presently Guardian of Glasshampton Monastery.
Where does a vocation begin? For me it was more of a growing
conviction only recognised in hindsight, but I remember a time when
there was something about the words ‘monk’ and ‘monastery’ that kept
leaping out of the page in books that I was reading. I was studying
Theology at university at the time, and finding some of the critical
theologians hard going. It was the books by monks and nuns that
really captured my imagination – people like the Cistercian Thomas
Merton, or Dom Henri Le Saux, a Benedictine who went to India taking
the name Abhishiktananda, a Christian in Hindu robes. Here was a
faith lived with integrity and abandonment to God, which called for
a response from my heart.
It took me a while to make up my mind though. First I wrote to
various communities for men in the Church of England, asking if I
could live alongside their community for a while. They all seemed to
say, Why not try the Franciscans? So I went to visit Hilfield Friary
in Dorset, but I knew it was too early for me to join. I wanted to
see the world. Eight years later, now living in Korea, I knew that
it was time to return and get on with what I believed God had been
patiently calling me to do.
Many things drew me to the Franciscans. Partly it was the
corporate commitment to prayer at regular times each day. I had
tried to do that on my own, using the SSF Office Book and
re-connecting in spirit with the SSF, but it was so difficult on my
own to maintain the discipline. I realised I needed the help of
others in my prayers. And I didn’t like living alone. Community
seemed to offer the balance of individual space and the
companionship of others on a spiritual path. And Francis, full of
wisdom’s folly, was a refreshing and exhilarating example of poverty
and joy in his love of God and all his brothers and sisters.
But in the end, what kept me in the SSF was simply that these
brothers and sisters were the people I had come to know and love.
They were and are my family. How could I think of leaving them? And
it wasn’t just them. Friendships with members of other communities,
not just Anglican but Roman Catholic, Orthodox, and Buddhist too
were increasingly important to me. They were all part of what I had
become. Of course the desire for a wife and family was still there,
but somewhere along the line a choice had been made and one path
followed with another left unexplored.
And in this company of brothers and sisters, both those with
whom I live and pray and those I have visited and come to know as
friends, with these companions I honestly feel that living this life
makes a difference. People visit our communities and are changed:
refreshed and revitalised in spirit, strengthened to live their own
lives to the full. People and groups we visit find something in this
crazy choice of ours that inspires them, just as I was inspired as a
student. When you live this life for a while, you soon realise that
it is not you who work any of these miracles, it can only be God.
And if God is here, then the one thing necessary has already been
found.
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